What Healing Sounds Like
- The Rev. Julia Matallana Freedman
- 3 days ago
- 3 min read
Psalm 42
As a deer longs for flowing streams,
so my soul longs for you, O God.
My soul thirsts for God,
for the living God.
When shall I come and behold
the face of God?
My tears have been my food
day and night,
while people say to me continually,
‘Where is your God?’
These things I remember,
as I pour out my soul:
how I went with the throng,
and led them in procession to the house of God,
with glad shouts and songs of thanksgiving,
a multitude keeping festival.
Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my help and my God.
My soul is cast down within me;
therefore I remember you
from the land of Jordan and of Hermon,
from Mount Mizar.
Deep calls to deep
at the thunder of your cataracts;
all your waves and your billows
have gone over me.
By day the Lord commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God, my rock,
‘Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I walk about mournfully
because the enemy oppresses me?’
As with a deadly wound in my body,
my adversaries taunt me,
while they say to me continually,
‘Where is your God?’
Why are you cast down, O my soul,
and why are you disquieted within me?
Hope in God; for I shall again praise him,
my help and my God.
This Psalm spoke to me as I was searching for a passage about despair. My friends, do not despair. The Psalms are filled with God’s people lamenting and crying out to God. It’s a good reminder that if you feel the creeping of despair, if it seems your prayers go unheard, you are not alone. God’s justice does not always intervene when we want it to. I’m working on a personal project that challenged me to think about my theology of suffering, and what I’ve had to admit is this: sometimes people and policies create purposeless suffering. We don’t understand how state-sanctioned harm could happen, and I don’t believe it somehow “betters” humanity.
And yet when Scripture gives us language for lament, I also want to look for stories that rehearse hope.
In very “Julia fashion,” as I look toward my departure from Trinity, I really wanted to talk about K-pop Demon Hunters, a children’s film that recently hit number 1 on Netflix. Don’t let the title fool you because the storytelling is 10/10, no notes. The forces of good and evil, the redemption of a main character who struggles with her identity, and the themes of healing are unmistakable. It reminded me that even when suffering feels senseless, our response can be purposeful: telling the truth, choosing one another, and practicing small acts of courage and empathy until they add up to resilience.
If lament tells the truth about our pain, hope teaches us what healing sounds like. May you hear it in your own breath, in a friend’s text, in an ancient psalm prayed aloud. Here is What It Sounds Like, let it be the soundtrack to your next brave step.
Link the SONG here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ug_pv5-r1js
Please join me and my family on August 31st as we say goodbye to Trinity and as I look toward my next step in the Diocese of Rhode Island. We are deeply grateful for our time at Trinity. I’ve had the great gift of growing as a minister and as an Anglican. Thank you to each person who has shared their life and stories with us. My daughter has found a spiritual home at Trinity, and we will always think fondly of our time within the Family Ministry. Thank you to all the lay leaders I’ve had the privilege of working alongside, from the Beyond Sundays group to the faithful Sunday School teachers to our student Acolytes. Lay leaders are the heartbeat of any parish, and I’m so lucky to have worked with each one of you. Each of you has left an imprint on me and my family, and we are overwhelmed with gratitude. I know that the Episcopal world is small, and I trust that our paths may cross again in the future. Thank you so much to Rev. Nancy and Father CJ for the wisdom of your ministry and for giving me the space to grow. I am deeply grateful for all that I have learned from you both.
Your sister in Christ,
Julia+